What Did You Do To Queen Lizzie?
by Time Lady 802379
Summary: Martha asks the Doctor what he did to upset Queen Lizzie. Set just after the end of the Shakespeare Code. First story so a little experimental. Please Read & Review.


**Welcome to my first story. Thanks for reading it, its probably going to be really really rubbish, but oh well, thats why people review! (I am really rubbish at hinting) Anyway, please enjoy and review if you liked it. If you didn't then please don't review. Thanks again!!**

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The Doctor and Martha ran through the dirty streets, pursued by guards armed with spears, swords, as well as bows and arrows. The Doctor was trying desperately to run whilst hiding a crystal containing the sealed Carrionites in his coat.

"What did you do to upset her then?" Martha gasped, breathlessly.

"How should I know, I haven't even met her yet!" The Doctor yelled back. They dodged round a cart and turned the corner. The TARDIS was just ahead, right where they had left it, standing in the dark side-street, waiting for them. The Doctor had his key out ready. He skidded to a halt on the straw that littered the cobbled ground, inserting the key into the lock and opening the door. Martha ran inside as the Doctor looked back over his shoulder. "Can't wait to find out though, that should be fun!" The guard closest raised his bow and aimed it at the Doctor. "Oh!!" The Doctor yelped. He rushed inside the TARDIS and shut the door, seconds before the fired arrow pierced the wood where his head had been.

He took his coat off and the crystal out of his pocket, and threw his coat over on of the support beams in the console room, while Martha sat on the captains seat, panting. The Doctor put the crystal on the floor and crouched down to the grail. He lifted up a section of the floor and opened up a huge trunk underneath with the letter "C" on it. By this time, Martha had got her breath back. She walked over to where the Doctor crouched, with his head beneath the floor, burying the crystal in the contents of the trunk.

"So............... What was that about then? How did you make Queen Elizabeth the First want to chop your brown spiky head off? I'm starting to notice a trend going on here. Doctor, what the heck are you doing down there?" she asked the part of the back of his head that was closest.

"Mumphum muphumumph!" He replied.

"Well, I'm glad you told me that, but that doesn't really answer the question does it? Doctor? I asked you what the hell you did to make a member of the royal family-"

"I heard what you said!" He interrupted, sitting up and taking the Sonic Screwdriver out of his mouth. "And by the way: Questions!" He finished abruptly, stuck the tool back in his mouth and disappeared back beneath the floor; well the top half did anyway. The legs were still sticking up in the air and waving around madly like he was running upside down.

"What? What the hell do you mean: Questions? Doctor?" She was starting to get annoyed. She didn't get a verbal response but the floor suddenly shook violently and a number of strange items suddenly flew up from the deep bowels of the trunk in the floor which still contained half of the Doctor. She almost got hit in the head by a kind of silver metal disk but she caught it at the last second. Unfortunately she proceeded to fall over backwards so the Frisbee like thing ended up precariously balanced on top of her nose. She growled and sat up angrily and looked into the hole where the trunk was. To her great amusement, she saw that the Doctor had fallen over too, and was now lying on his back in the trunk with his legs still flailing wildly. As she peered over the floor at him, he gazed up at her, a picture of pure innocence, with wide eyes and an even wider smile, a giggle, a wink and the Sonic Screwdriver still stuck in his mouth.

"Muhmmumphuphumphumph" He giggled, his smile now spreading to 5 miles wider then the Grand Canyon. He stopped flailing his legs as Martha reached down and extracted the ceramic tool out of his mouth, and hit him over the head with the metal frisbee like thing. "Ouch!! What? I forgot that that was explosive!! No need to whack me with a Cyberman's old chest plate!"

Martha noticed for the first time, the smoke billowing out from underneath his back. "What did you do? And what do you mean "Questions"? Answers in reverse order please!"

He looked up at her, still giggling like a weirdo. "Last question first: You asked me more then one question, which make it a plural, which makes it questions, not just a question. And first question last: The Chinglenox's gave me a rare flower called a Cranib, I'd forgotten that it explodes when something approaches it too fast or in the wrong way. It blew up in my face! You can't blame me for falling over can you? Well actually, knowing you, I'm sure you'll find a way!" He wriggled about experimentally, and failed to move. "Oh shit" He sighed. He looked up at Martha imploringly. "I seem to be stuck here." His voice rose slowly as he hinted for her to help him.

Martha laughed, seeing the almighty Oncoming Storm, stuck on his back, in a trunk, in the floor, with half of the trunk's contents on top of him. Yet this man could make armies turn and run with just a look, or could make a DVD recorder out of a broken hairdryer and a four slice toaster, or something like that! She shoved the Sonic Screwdriver back into his mouth, and receiver a satisfying "Oof!" She turned to go, and heard a load outburst of Mumphumuph's as the Doctor realised that she wasn't going to help him out of this embarrassing situation. She heard him struggling to free himself of his make-shift turtle shell. He saw her leave the room, shaking with uncontrolled laughter. He tried to take the Sonic Screwdriver out of his mouth but he found that he couldn't move his arms at all. They were stuck at uncomfortable right angles to his body and refused to move. _"Oh fuck, she's not gonna help me at all. She's just gonna leave me like this. Oh God, I said I wasn't gonna swear until she'd been to at least 6 other places with me. Oh bullocks, I've already sworn. OH SHIT!!! DOCTOR SHUT UP!" _He thought to himself angrily.

3 hours later, Martha thought that he'd been stuck for long enough. She crept into the control room as silently as she could. She giggled quietly as she saw that he was still stuck. He must have tried really hard to get out for a while because he had somehow managed to upset half of the floor tiles around the trunk and move the trunk itself a few inches. She moved in front of the box, smiling when she saw that he was fast asleep. She crouched down on the floor so that his legs were on either side of her as he slept. She was trying desperately to suppress rabid laughter that was forcing its way up her throat. What surprised her most; was when he suddenly opened his eyes, used his feet to hook her behind the knee and pulled her into the trunk on top of him, laughing in her face. She got her own back when she started to tickle him unmercifully. She turned to get back out before he could think of something else to do. As she tried to get out for the fifth time, she realised that she was stuck too. Martha looked at the Doctor as he realised what was wrong. He looked at her, fearing how much tickling he was in for, and her wondering what else she could do to him while he had no way of defending himself or doing anything to her to stop her, or in fact do anything at all. _"Oh shit"_ He thought out loud.

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**Thanks again for reading. The name of the flower: "Cranib" was created bu my frind Fi3fi3. WHONIVERSE FOR EVER!!!!! Please review if you enjoyed, if you didn't then don't bother! Lol :)**


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